The Danger Kitchen
by Shatter2
Summary: Breakfast at Xavier's. Thank you everyone for your feedback, hopefully I'll get around to a sequel.


The sun came up over Westchester, as quietly and beautifully as it went down the night before.   
It was a typical morning at the Xavier Mansion, Jean was making breakfast, Remy was once again offering his assistance, and the same results ensued.   
"Remy! For the last time, you're not cooking breakfast again!" Jean shouted, pushing him out of her way with a light tk burst.   
"Aww... cherie, you wound me." Gambit made a clutching motion over his heart.   
"I see Gambit is re-enacting the last time we at his cooking." Scott mused from the kitchen doorway. "For once, I'd like to have a normal breakfast."   
"In all the years we have spent as X-Men, have we ever enjoyed a quiet meal together?" Hank asked as he came bounding over Scott's head into the doorway, followed by Bobby who reached past Jean and snatched a few eggs to practice his juggling routine.   
"Bobby!" Jean yelled, he turned and lost his concentration as eggs fell covering his head.   
"Once again, my frosty friend stands speechless with egg on his face." Hank spoke eloquently between snickers.   
The entire room burst out laughing, which quickly escalated in a food fight. Bobby started it by dumping flour over Hank, who was now white instead of his trademark blue.   
"Mr. Drake," Hank spoke quietly, removing his glasses, "Now you have done it." And before he could react Beast was filling the air with numerous breakfast projectiles, seconded by Gambit who was egg tossing with amazing accuracy.   
Jean and Scott shrugged and joined in, Jean deflecting their attacks telekinetically, and Scott picking them out of the air with his optic blasts.   
  
It was all in good fun until Rogue rushed into the kitchen to see what the commotion was about; Rogue made it in first and was quickly blasted with cereal and pancake mix.   
Logan came in next, investigating the smell of the burning food. "What the flamin' is going on in here, is the blasted toaster on fire again, if Drake is cooking marshmallows in there again I swear I'm gonna..." He was interrupted by a facefull of   
what was blueberry waffle batter.   
The entire room, turned to see Logan, standing in the doorway, covered with blueberries and batter mix."   
"Sorry shorty," Remy laughed, "but we ran out of pancake mix when we hit Rogue."   
"That was you!? Your butt is mine swamp rat!" Rogue said, before dumping maple syrup down his shirt and in his hair.   
Logan growled as everyone laughed, and kept the fight going. Hank was dodging frozen orange juice thrown by Bobby, Jean was mentally creating a hurricane of cereal, which Cyclops was trying to blast out of the air, Rogue was down on Remy's back covering him with syrup, as he ran around the kitchen, tossing charged eggs over his shoulder in a vain attempt to get her off him.   
Logan sighed, speared some sausage links with his claws and dove under the table for cover.   
The ensuing ruckus brought two more downstairs, Peter and Kurt.   
"Vas is going on down their mine friends?" Kurt asked questionably.   
"If only I knew tovarish, perhaps we are being attacked?"   
They began to dash toward the kitchen, when Kitty phased up through the floor. "No cause for alarm guys, breakfast as usual as the X-House."   
Kurt ran his hand through his indigo hair and sighed in relief. "So the inmates have once again reclaimed the asylum. Well, why should we miss out?"   
Peter grinned and armored up. The trio made their way into the kitchen, Kurt teleported his way onto the ceiling where he bombarded the room with raisin bran, Kitty phased into the refrigerator and grabbed the whipped cream and let it fly all over the kitchen while Peter made use of the oatmeal.   
By this time, the kitchen was nothing like the way it was a few minutes ago. Eggs, waffles, cereal, and numerous other breakfast items covered the walls, floor and now the ceiling.   
The fight had been going on for several minutes and The Professor's concentration had been broken by the shouting and slamming coming from the kitchen.   
He put down his cup of morning tea and shook his head. "Why can't Remy simply allow Jean to cook breakfast herself?"   
He activated his hover chair and made his way to the kitchen. When he got there, his mouth was wide open with shock, in all his years as the X-Men's mentor; he had never seen such a catastrophe.   
He cleared his throat and everyone turned around to see him sitting there, giving them all a stern look.   
"I thought I had taught you all better than this, look at this mess, I have to say that I'm quite ashamed."   
They all lowered their respective weapons and bowed their heads.   
"Next time a situation like this crosses our paths, I expect you all to act like a team. And diffuse the situation."   
Little did they know the Professor was telekinetically lifting several containers of syrup, boxes of cereal and what was left of the pancake batter over their heads.   
"Now, my X-Men, it looks like I have one lesson to teach you." With that, Professor X let it fly, making an even bigger mess than all the X-Men. "Never underestimate your opponent." He laughed loudly and the fight broke out again.   
The entire time Logan had been hiding safely under the table, he quickly reached out and grabbed a cordless phone, which was stuck to the wall.   
He dialed a number and lifted the messy receiver reluctantly to his ear, "Hello Domino's? Yeah it's Mr. Logan again. I need the usual, no anchovies this time, double cheese and sausage on two of those. Thanks." 


End file.
